Monday, February 3, 2014

Unless You Make My Word Your Home: Part III

Thanks to Dawn Hardison for this report of the Conference given by Sister Genevieve at the November 10, 2013, General Meeting.  To read Parts I and II, click on Blog Archive to the right, select 2014, February, and click on the title you want.

“So if you make my word your home, you will truly be my disciples.  You will know the truth…” 

Now that’s an interesting question which Pilate asks in the Gospel of John.  But actually he asks “what is truth?”, where most of us ask “what is the truth?”  How do we usually answer it?  We look for the facts – what exactly is the truth of this matter.  You want information that corresponds to objective reality, which is also somewhat of a delusion.  But what we want are the facts, or we want ideas that corresponds to objective reality.   

But in fact in the Gospel of John the truth is a person.  Jesus says at the last supper, “I am the way, and the truth and the life”.  Now what does that mean?  What do you think of when you think of him being the truth?  The truth has two meanings in the scriptures. All through the Psalms you’ll hear “God is true”.  What that means is faithful, true in the sense of being faithful.  So Jesus can say “I am the way and the truth and the life”, partly because he makes present the fidelity of God.  And it’s a very long fidelity; there are centuries behind that verse. 

I found myself saying one day in a moment of some youthful discouragement, “My life is the story of a long fidelity, but not mine.” Because God is always faithful.  We don’t have to act a certain way to make God love us.  That is built so deep within most of us, that we live that way without even thinking about it.  If I don’t say these prayers, God won’t be pleased.  If I don’t act this way, God won’t be pleased, and God won’t like me.  And the lower our self image the more apt we are to think I’m not very likeable, and so why would God like me.  Why would God want me to pray, or want me to hang around with him.  There are a lot more interesting people to hang around with – like St. Teresa of Avila.  She’d be a lot more fun. 

But in fact that’s not the point.  God is faithful no matter how we are.  God is there, no matter if we are being our very worst selves, God is still there.  Unless we turn around and say (and really mean it) “I want you to go away!” and we slam the door in his face. Now he’s still there in the background, but he’s not so closely linked.  Even when you do that kind of in a fit of temper; “I don’t like you very much because I don’t like what you are asking me to do.  It’s hard and I wish you’d go away!”  I just think God backs off a step and laughs, and says “I’m still here, no matter what.” 

So all those images of God in the Old Testament as the rock – the rock is just there.  You walk outside here, or look outside the windows, and the rock is just there.  The mountains of Colorado have come to mean to me to be like a visual statement of strength and there-ness, that make them a really good image of God.  Now I know the mountains change over time, but I don’t see it happening.  So God is always there.  God is always kind of whispering in the background “I’ve got your back.”  Which is extremely consoling.  That’s not written down in the Bible anywhere but I think I should be so I use it sometimes when I am praying against fear or whatever.  God is always just there.  That’s the nature of God’s fidelity,  He’s always there, and because God is love, that means love is always there.  We can be having temper tantrums, we can be stamping our feet, we can be saying I don’t like this very much, we can forget all about him, but he’s there. 

And Jesus says that in John’s gospel – I am with you always.  And that wasn’t just a message for them.  There’s a beautiful passage by St. John Chrysostom who was, I think, a 4th century Bishop, who spent a good bit of his life in exile.  It is in the office of Readings on September 13, which is his feast day.  He starts out with saying that His promise is what keeps me.  And as the passage unfolds the promise is “I am with you always”.  So here he is being shipped hither and yon in all kinds of difficult circumstances, and Christ says “I am with you always.”  I don’t have to come back because I never go away.  You may, but I don’t. 

So in that sense truth is fidelity, being there. 

The other sense is a little bit more difficult to express.  Christ is the truth, because in his humanity, Christ is humanity as it is meant to be.  We haven’t been ourselves as we are meant to be since way back, millennia ago, ever since that nasty little episode in the garden of Eden.  But Christ is humanity made true.  In the incarnation the Word of God takes on humanity and makes it true.  Returns it to what it is supposed to be.  And so if we know Christ, who is the truth, then we get a glimmer of what we are supposed to be.  He is the truth that we are meant to be. 

Now, it takes a lifetime to grow into that.  We are pretty distorted, by our experience of sin, by being in a far less than a perfect world.  We have all kinds of things that would pull us away from being true in that sense.  But Christ keeps pulling us back, saying “no, the truth is, the truth is.  So as you read the gospels and the other New Testament reflections on Christ, keep thinking – this is the truth.  This is humanity in its truth. 

Now, what does it mean to know the truth; You will know the truth.  Today that means getting factual information, doesn’t it.  Means looking it up on the internet and believing what you find!  I know perfectly well that Wikipedia is not always accurate.  That does not stop me from looking things up on Wikipedia.  And I have found lots of accurate information on there, so some of it is.  But in the scriptures it means more than that.  And you probably know this already.  To know, in Hebrew, is to be in profound communion with.  Not just with your head, but with your whole being.  It is the word that was used for sexual union in the Old Testament.  But it meant even by that something much more than the mechanical joining of two bodies.  It meant two people being in profound communion with one another.  And no matter how close we human beings get doing that, our communion with Christ, knowing the truth in Christ is an intimacy much more profound even than that. 

So you will know the truth; if you will become my disciples, you will really get to know me, but what that really means is that you will grow in such a closeness to me, that you will know without being told who I am and what I am for everybody else. 

Copyright 2014, Abbey of St. Walburga

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